This week we entered a touchy subject about the new laws in North Carolina that involved the LBGT community. Much of the subject was very indifferent to me. I say let people be who they want to be, but stay tolerable to both sides. One aspect was brought up about having to explain to a young child why “Suzy” goes to the little boys’ bathroom. My mind did not quickly race to defend a little girl’s right to say she felt like a little boy, but instead how we pressure children to be forced into maturity at such a young age and we try to control children in so many different aspects of the world.
Parents will always live vicariously through their children. Many chose to push their children to pursue sports at very young ages. Jacqueline Stenson writes an article, Pushing Too Hard Too Young, that outlines how our kids are being diagnosed with physical ailments that they should not see for many more years. The coaches and the parents demand recognition and success over sportsmanship and fun for the players. I was unfortunate enough to learn this first hand. For two years I was a little league coach, 13-14 years old and then 11-12 years old, and the hardest group to coach were the younger of the two. Parents would yell are me or at the child for striking out when I was trying to teach them to get up after they fall down in life. Whispers and cussing from teammates’ parents could be heard as you explain why you aren’t running the score up on an opposing team or clearing tears from their eyes after a loss.
Not only do we pressure our children to succeed at any risk, but we try to micromanage the danger in their lives. This relates a little to my opening statement about how I came to the realization for this blog entry. NPR had a podcast with an interview with Mrs. Hanna Rosin who explains her article in The Atlantic and how children today do not get to learn about the dangers of the world on their own. Playgrounds are now drenched with protective rubber she explains, and that this feeling of always being watched can hinder a child’s independence later in life. My parents were very nurturing and loving, but at a suitable age I was allowed to go behind my house with a hatchet and attempt to build a fort.
At what age do we let children learn about life through their own experiences and not ours. Making a child feel pressured to choose a bathroom because of a possible life outcomes will become the same hindrance on their independance as protecting them on the playground. We’ve all made mistakes and discovered ourselves through our pasts; why don’t we allow the next generation the same opportunity of individuality.
“You know parents are the same
No matter time nor place
They don’t understand that us kids
Are going to make some mistakes
So to you, all the kids all across the land
There’s no need to argue
Parents just don’t understand”-DJ Jazzy Jeff & Fresh Prince
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